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Strength Collaboration Series

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You’re Still Here – So Stay Strong

Have you ever come to a point that people you had faith in disappointed you so badly that you felt emotionally crushed? Well I did, once. Some time back, I almost fell into the arms of depression. Why?

I am the kind of person who likes to meet new people and make friends. I enjoy the company of friends. Out of all these friends, I have a special group whom I can refer to as my reaally close friends. People who have a place in my heart and I believe I can trust to have my back.

And when you have so much faith in someone, nothing hurts more than when they are the very ones who betray and let you down.

I’m not saying I’m a perfect person but I try my very best for my friends and family. If there are sacrifices to be made, I make them (but of course, I take time for myself too). I try not to let anyone down (unless I have to). And even when we are separated by some physical distance, we are never separated at heart.

But apparently, that wasn’t enough for some of these friends. Because when I needed their support the most, they left me hanging.

My Response

As expected, I was crushed and tried everything I could to save our friendship – regardless of my disappointment. But all my efforts were flung aside and their actions showed me they had no interest in retaining it.

With a heavy heart, I let go. As time passed over this fresh wound, my sorrow slowly gave way to anger. Fury at my being incapable of maintaining my connections; fury at they being so heartless. Until eventually, I started to make my way towards depression.

It was during this same period that my renewed self-confidence was tried and tested. I just didn’t have the strength to move on from the blow.

Finding Emotional Strength

And in all this, I will never forget that one friend (now my bestie) who stood alongside my family in encouraging me. Nessa stuck with me even when I became an irritable mess. She did her very best to cheer me up and help me jump out of that ditch.

In life, people come and go all the time. And only a select few stay. And those few are the ones worth your time and effort. Nessa, you are the epitome of a true friend – reliable, trustworthy and caring. And for that I love you, crazy girl.   😛  🙂

My Advice To You

If you ever find yourself in an emotional ditch, here are some tips you can follow to bounce back.

kids smiling

  • Surround yourself with your family and loved ones
  • Surround yourself with positive minded individuals – they’ll lift you up
  • Understand that it’s not the end of the road and that staying STRONG is your best option.
  • Do not let your mind dwell on the negativity of the circumstance.
  • SMILE – you have no idea the wonders of this fella. By continuously smiling, you’re tricking your mind and body into being happy.  😀  😀

 

To My Dear Friends,…

This goes to all those friends of mine whom I referred to above. I know you will eventually read this post some day. I have three things to tell you:

1. I forgive you

I hold nothing against you. Yes, if we tried to revive the relationship we once had, things would never be the same. Because you’ll find that I’m a completely different person. However, I’m no longer mad at you.

2. Thank you

If you guys hadn’t messed up big time, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Also, your actions opened my eyes to new horizons (as explained above).

3. Be careful

I was able to get out of the emotional ditch I was in. Most likely because of the friends and family who helped me out. However, I’d advise you to work on yourselves. You’ll meet a lot of others in future. And you can’t go about causing havoc and leaving your “victims” to pick up their pieces.

Friendship is a commitment and a lot of people take it seriously. If you’re uncertain as to how willing you are to commit, don’t bother to offer yourself as a friend.

Do not be quick to agree to something you don’t have the slightest bit of conviction that you can carry it out. That’s sort of what Paul describes in 2 Corinthians 1:17:

…Do you think I talk out of both sides of my mouth—a glib yes one moment, a glib no the next? Well, you’re wrong. I try to be as true to my word as God is to his. Our word to you wasn’t a careless yes canceled by an indifferent no

Think before you act.

Shout out to my fellow collaborators:

25 comments

    1. Thank you, Nikki. It wouldn’t have been possible if not for Nessa and my family, though.
      I’m glad to have more of such friends (such as yourself 😀 )

      P.S. I just sent you a very important email.

  1. Awesome ! ! Love your story and I’m sure EVERYONE can relate to it. We’ve all trusted someone that we thought could never hurt us. Unfortunately, we are all imperfect humans and we do and say things we do not mean to. “But no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison” James 3:8. However, we are ALL responsible for our actions. You are freeing yourself by forgiving those who hurt you. XOXO

    1. Yes Camilla. I agree that we should all take responsibility for our actions because in the end, it’s us who will have to answer to God.
      And one way we can do that is through our words. Thanks for reading and leaving this wonderful comment.
      Remain blessed.

  2. Emotional conviction is definitely important when finding strength to do anything, especially forgive others who have hurt or wronged us. Surrounding ourselves with loved ones is definitely an important part of health and wellness. I think we’re stronger in numbers, but one negative person can easily bring us down and take away our joy. I personally find that moral support via loved ones makes a huge impact on our personal strength. Great post.

    1. I completely agree, Sonyo. You have made solid points of support.
      You are among some of the strong women I know and whom I can draw inspiration from. Thank you for being you.
      Remain blessed.

  3. We are friends! Yeah! Lucky me! It’s important to surround yourself with people who uplift you, and I hope our little group does. I love your tips and how you got past your low ditch. I could never imagine Dynamite depressed, but we are all human. SMILE! 😀​😀​ You taught me that. ❤️​😍​
    Ipuna Black recently posted…Strength: Single ParentsMy Profile

    1. Yes, we are reeeaaallly close and good friends (and you’re also my *unsayable* 😉 ).
      Lucky me!
      Our company does that and so much more. You guys add color and flavor to my daily life. Each minute with y’all is a blessing. 😀
      Hope you’re still smiling! We’re in a new month. Hopefully soon, you’ll upgrade to Legendary – it’s really fun up there. 😀 😀 😀

    1. Yes. God sent her exactly when I was in need of her. The funny thing is we had been friends for a shorter period of time that the rest. Yet she was the one who stuck by my side. I pray everyone gets a friend like Nessa.
      Thanks for reading!

      P.S. I love your photos 😀

  4. You are a strong person, it takes alot of courage to overcome difficult situations of life. I agree that one must surround oneself with positive minded individuals – they lift you up. I liked the way you said, “by continuously smiling, you’re tricking your mind and body into being happy.” This one is an power packed post!!
    Sadaf Siddiqi recently posted…Clock is Ticking.My Profile

    1. Thank you for your kind words, Teacher! They are really heart-warming and means so much to me.
      And like they say – “practice what you preach/teach”, I am participating whole-heartedly in my #SpreadSmiles Challenge.
      Also, I’m glad to have the T.company as my personal group of positive minded individuals. You guys have been a huge blessing to me and I thank God for that.
      Thanks for reading!

  5. Thanks for sharing your life experience for the purpose of helping others. The post is a great masterpiece and it’s easier to relate to. Almost everybody got disappointed at a point in life and I think it’s among the factors that enhance our growth in life. Stay strong and stay blessed.

    1. Thank you for dropping by and leaving this wonderful comment, Ajibola. I truly admire the strength that you possess and demonstrate both in thine speech and actions.
      Have a great day!

  6. We all have that friend who will disappoint us and leave us hanging. True friends will stay no matter what happens. Sometimes, we only hold on to the years of friendship and the quality. I love how you tell yourself (or to them) that you forgive them. That’s the first step towards healing. Thank you for sharing these powerful words!

    1. You don’t have to wish for something you are way more than already, sis.
      Yes, in a way that’s true. Because to each – his or her own value and if we can’t see how much we are worth, no one will.
      My sweet Lollipoppy twinnie! 😀 ❤️❤️

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