Welcome back once again. Right here with me, I have JARET as my guest for today as we continue with our talk on verbal abuse.
JARET: Hi everybody, it’s good to be back on the show once more.
So Jaret, within the last episode, we talked concerning the issue of what’s verbal abuse and recognizing verbal abuse. Is that correct?
JARET: That’s right.
Okay then. Let me jog your memory a little. What did we define it as?
JARET: Well, if I remember properly, you shared the definition given by Devon MacDermott, Ph.D. He defines verbal abuse as the chronic verbal interaction that’s unwanted and makes the victim feel some kind of emotional damage. Now, I didn’t quite comprehend it fully. And so, I got reading on verbal abuse. I discovered one superb definition given by Dr. Jay Grady, Ph.D.
He refers to verbal abuse as words that:
- attack or injure an individual
- cause one to believe an untrue statement
- speak falsely about an individual
Wow. 😮😮 I have to say that I’m impressed. You didn’t completely understand and you went on to research the subject. You really did your homework. Good job. 👍👍
JARET: Thank you. 😁😁
Alright. Today, I would like us to discuss the link between verbal and physical abuse.
Physical and Verbal Abuse Compared
When we last met, Jaret came up to me and specially requested to lead this session. So, I’m handing over to you, buddy.
JARET: Thank you, Janie. Let’s get onto it. I’ll like to start off with this question – do you know what wrestling is?
Um. Not sure how this is related but isn’t it that sport where opponents have fun beating each other up? 👊👊
JARET: 😂😂 You got the sports bit right. It’s actually the sport or activity of grappling with an opponent and trying to throw or hold them down on the ground, typically according to a code of rules.
Now, there are different types of wrestling matches. We have single, team, empty arena, winner takes all, etc. matches. A common example of team matches is Tag Team. This is a type of professional wrestling in which matches are contested between teams of multiple wrestlers.
🤔🤔 As interesting as all these sounds, I still don’t get how this is connected to the topic at hand.
JARET: Well, you see how physical and verbal abuse works is just like that. They tag team abuse victims. In the sense that, they work hand-in-hand. They are able to do so in any relationship because verbal abuse is versatile!
So, you mean because of the various types of verbal abuse it is easy for someone to be both physically and verbally abused at the same time?
JARET: Exactly! An intimate partner usually implements verbal abuse before and after physical violence or their power over the victim will disappear. That’s the main reason why verbal and physical abuse always coexist in an abusive relationship. Because the victim of abuse may simply leave a physically abusive partner as a result of the absence of brainwashing and coercive language (the products of their co-existence).
I see. You keep making reference to a partner. Does this mean their coexistence is only necessary for a relationship?
JARET: Something like that. A stranger doesn’t need verbal abuse to commit a physical assault, although they may use it as an intimidation tool.
However, verbal abuse doesn’t need physical violence to be effective. It takes some time to gain enough control over somebody to make sure they’ll not leave a physically abusive relationship.
Verbal abuse tactics are the easiest way to implement domestic abuse without the victim noticing it. The tragedy of physical violence happens when the abuser feels that the verbal abuse is no longer working. The abuser’s anger and fear of being unable to control the victim erupts in physical violence.
So, in other words, all sorts of verbal abuse are red flags foretelling physical violence?
Are there any other similarities involved?
JARET: One last thing. MacDermott lists depression, anxiety, and PTSD among the potential consequences of verbal abuse. And research backs this up: A 2006 study in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that folks who were verbally abused as kids are in danger of depression and anxiety as adults.
Research also shows that depression and anxiety are probable end products of physical abuse.
In summary, you’re saying verbal abuse leads to physical abuse almost always. And that the end products of both are similar?
And that brings us to the end of this session. And remember that all it takes to put a stop to such circumstances is to begin by a global change of mindset that violence is NOT the answer. Thanks for reading.