ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

UNDERSTANDING WHY WOMEN REMAIN IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

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DEALING WITH AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP IS NOT A JOKE OR A LIGHT ISSUE, AS SOME PEOPLE MIGHT ASSUME. JUST LIKE A FOOTBALL GAME, ITS EASIER TO KNOW THE BEST CHOICES TO MAKE WHEN YOU ARE A THIRD PARTY, ON THE STANDS. THIS IS BECAUSE, ON THE FIELD, YOUR PERSPECTIVE CHANGES. AND THE STRESS, AND PRESSURES, OF THE GAME INFLUENCES THE OPTIONS YOUR SEE.

IN THE SAME WAY, PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT VICTIMS OF AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP TEND TO FIND IT EASIER TO KNOW THE LOGICAL WAY OUT OF SUCH A RELATIONSHIP.

JUST LET HER GO

OR

LEAVE AND MOVE ON WITH LIFE

THESE ARE SOME OF THE MANY SOLUTIONS THAT FRIENDS AND FAMILY MIGHT GIVE TO VICTIMS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE.

STAYING IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

WHY WOULD SOMEONE WANT TO STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE THEY ARE PUT DOWN, UNDERMINED, HUMILIATED, IGNORED, AND EVEN THREATENED? WHY WOULD THEY WANT TO STAY WITH THE ONE WHO CLAIMS TO LOVE THEM THE MOST, BUT ACTS OTHERWISEIF HE DOES, WHY WOULD HE BEAT THEM UP AND BEAT DOWN THEIR SELF-ESTEEM? THE BEST OPTION WOULD TO LEAVE, RIGHT? ANYBODY CAN FIGURE THAT OUT.

SO WHY ARE THE VICTIMS STILL HANGING ON, IN THOSE SORRY RELATIONSHIPS?

THAT IS BECAUSE, IT IS A DIFFERENT THING ALTOGETHER WHEN YOU ARE THE VICTIM OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. THE COMPLEXITY OF RELATIONSHIP ABUSE, ESPECIALLY EMOTIONAL ABUSE, IS ONE THAT IS YET TO BE FULLY UNDERSTOOD PSYCHOLOGISTS.

ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPAT ITS EARLY STAGES, THE VENOM OF RELATIONSHIP ABUSE CAN BE ELUSIVE AND INSIDIOUS. SO MUCH SO, THAT IT CONTINUES TO FLOW UNNOTICED, AND UNCHECKED, IN THE LIFE OF THE VICTIM. BY THE TIME IT ESCALATES TO A NOTICEABLE LEVEL, HE/SHE IS ALREADY CAUGHT IN A PSYCHOLOGICAL WEB THAT ONLY SEEMS TO GET TIGHTER AND TIGHTER.

 YOU MIGHT SAY, WELL CASES OF ABUSE ARE NOT AS COMMON AS THEY WERE IN THE PAST.” BUT SADLY, THAT IT NOT TRUE.

One in four women experience domestic abuse in their lifetime, and it is one of the most chronically under-reported crimes: only about one quarter of all physical assaults, one fifth of all rapes and one half of all stalkings are reported to the police.”

TIME MAGAZINE

HOWEVER, THESE STATISTICS DO NOT INCLUDE NON-PHYSICAL TYPES OF DOMESTIC ABUSE, SUCH AS VERBAL ABUSE AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE. WITH THESE TYPES OF ABUSE INCLUDED, YOU WOULD MOST LIKELY FIND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OR AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP WITHIN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD.

THERE ARE A NUMBER OF REASONS WHY VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE, PARTICULARLY WOMEN, STAY IN THE RELATIONSHIP. SOME REASONS ARE SPECIFIC TO A PARTICULAR RELATIONSHIP. HOWEVER, MANY CAN BE FOUND ACROSS MOST ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS.

5 REASONS WHY WOMEN STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

  1. FEAR FOR SAFETY

EMOTIONAL ABUSEWHEN A WOMAN REMAINS IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, FEAR IS ONE OF THE MOST COMMON FACTORS WHY SHE MADE THE CHOICE. DONT FORGET, ABUSERS ARE ALL ABOUT CONTROL, AND WILL GO ALL OUT TO MAINTAIN THEIR CONTROL OVER THEIR VICTIMS.

A LOT OF THE TIME, SUCH TACTICS INCLUDE THE EMPLOYMENT OF THREATS AND INTIMIDATION TO INCITE FEAR INTO THEIR UNFORTUNATE VICTIMS OF ABUSE.

AN ABUSIVE MAN CAN THREATEN TO HARM OR KILL HIS VICTIM/PARTNER, IF SHE TRIES TO ESCAPE FROM THE RELATIONSHIP. HE CAN THREATEN TO HARM HER PARENTS, FAMILY MEMBERS, OR EVEN PETS.

WITH THE SAFETY OF HERSELF, FAMILY MEMBERS, CHILDREN OR FRIENDS AT STAKE, SHE IS COMPELLED TO STAY IN THE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. THIS IS MAINLY BECAUSE SHE SEES IT AS THE ONLY WAY TO GUARANTEE THEIR SAFETY.

  1. THE ABUSIVE PARTNER KEEPS THE VICTIM PRISONER

IN SOME EXTREME CASES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, WHERE PHYSICAL ABUSE HAS ESCALATED TO A DANGEROUS POINT, THE HUSBAND/PARTNER CAN TAKE SERIOUS MEASURE TO KEEP THE VICTIM IN THE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.

KEEPING THE VICTIM PRISONER CAN BE DONE IN SEVERAL WAYS. PSYCHOLOGICALLY, SHE COULD BE INTIMIDATED, THREATENED AND MADE TO BELIEVE THAT THERE WOULD BE SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES IF SHE TRIED TO EXPOSE THE ABUSER. SUCH TACTICS WOULD KEEP THE VICTIM A PRISONER IN THE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.

THE ABUSER CAN ALSO TAKE PHYSICAL MEASURES LIKE SEIZING THE VICTIMS CELL PHONE, AND ISOLATING HER FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS. HE COULD ALSO PHYSICALLY KEEP THE PRISONER FROM LEAVING THE HOUSE. THIS IS A WAY OF PREVENTING THE VICTIM FROM SEEKING OUTSIDE SUPPORT AND HELP.

  1. THE COMPLEXITY WHEN CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED

ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPLEAVING AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP IS MUCH MORE EASIER WHEN THERE ARE NO KIDS INVOLVED. THEN ALL THE WOMAN, OR THE VICTIM OF ABUSE, WORRIES ABOUT IS MAINLY  HERSELF.

HOWEVER, WITH CHILDREN INVOLVED, THE CASE BECOMES A BIT MORE COMPLEX. THE WOMAN MIGHT BE COMPELLED TO STAY, ON THE ACCOUNT OF THE CHILDREN. SHE MIGHT FEAR FOR THE SAFETY OF THE CHILDREN, IF SHE LEAVES.

FURTHERMORE, THE LACK OF FINANCIAL MEANS OF TAKING CARE OF HER CHILDREN, ALONE, MIGHT PREVENT HER FROM LEAVING THE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. SHE MIGHT CONSIDER IT A WORTHY SACRIFICE, ON HER PART, FOR THE WELL BEING OF THE CHILDREN.

EVEN IF SHE HAS THE MONEY TO TAKE CARE OF THE CHILDREN, OTHER FACTORS CAN CAUSE HER TO REMAIN IN THE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. FACTORS WOULD INCLUDE FEAR OF LEAVING THE CHILDREN ALONE WITH HER ABUSER, IF HE GETS JOINT CUSTODY OF THE KIDS.

  1. SHAME AND LACK OF SELF-ESTEEM

ALL TYPES OF ABUSE ERODES THE SELF-ESTEEM OF THE VICTIM, AS TIME GOES ON. SHE MIGHT BE SO PSYCHOLOGICALLY BEATEN DOWN THAT SHE BEGINS TO BELIEVE THAT SHE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ABUSE. SHE MIGHT FEEL RESPONSIBLE BECAUSE SHE BELIEVES THAT SHE DESERVES NOTHING BETTER, AND THAT NOBODY ELSE CAN LOVE HER.

THEREFORE, THE DREAD OF LONELINESS AND LIFE WITHOUT HER PARTNER MIGHT KEEP HER BOUND TO THE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.

  1. THE FAMILIARITY OF ABUSE

SOME WOMEN WERE BORN INTO AN ABUSIVE ENVIRONMENT. HENCE, THEY GREW UP BELIEVING THAT EVERY RELATIONSHIP NATURALLY INVOLVED SOME FORM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

THEY MIGHT HAVE EVEN BEEN EMOTIONALLY ABUSED BY THEIR PARENTS. THEREFORE, ALL THEIR LIVES, THEY HAVE KNOWN NO OTHER TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP.

IF THE VICTIM HAD SUCH A BACKGROUND, SHE MIGHT TAKE IT AS NORMAL TO BE ABUSED BY HER PARTNER. ALL SHE KNEW, GROWING UP, WAS THE SAME LIFE THAT HER PARENTS LIVED.

SO, SHE FINDS NO NEED TO TRY TO CHANGE IT. SHE HAS TO ACCEPT IT AS PART OF LIFE.

WHY AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?

ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPWITH SO MANY VICTIMS OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS STILL HANGING ON TO THEIR ABUSERS, UNDERSTANDING THE REASONS BEHIND THEIR CHOICE IS VERY IMPORTANT. WITHOUT KNOWING WHY THEY CHOSE TO REMAIN IN THE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, YOU WOULD FIND IT ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO ADEQUATELY HELP THEM.

YOU JUST MIGHT END UP TRYING TO FINANCIALLY HELP SOMEBODY, WHO NEEDS PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSISTANCE.

FIRST OF ALL, YOU HAVE TO EFFECTIVELY DISCOVER WHY THEY CHOOSE TO REMAIN AND SUFFERTHEN YOU CAN TAKE ACCURATE STEPS IN HELPING THEM REDEEM THEMSELVES AND THEIR LIVES. THAT IS HOW YOU CAN BEGIN TO HELP THEM GET OUT OF THE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, AND GET THEIR LIVES IN ORDER.

WELL HANDLE HOW TO GET OUT OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, IN ANOTHER ARTICLE.

 

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